She waited as long as she could.
Each phone call, each visit
fell just short of what she needed.
A constant game of waiting for words that never came.
Play by the rules.
Don’t say “I love you”
or “I miss you”
or “I need you.”
Yeah, he used to be a pro.
I love you, dear girl.
I do not wish to be your pain.
So be with him, let him take care of you.
But, please, know this:
You were the first one I saw when I returned from the cold lands.
To me, you are this place.
I was foolish.
I regret only one thing.
Lookit! A haiku, for you:
Pancreatitis:
your insides consume themselves.
I know about that.
If we ever can try again, I’d be willing to start at the beginning.
Take you on a first date
(we never really had one to begin with, did we?).
How do you feel about lasagna?
I know where we can get the best $5 lasagna you’ve ever had.
Surrounded by a chorus of beautiful accents from beautiful people.
And a chocolate mousse you can’t resist.
Maybe next year.
There is an exhibit in a museum in Chicago.
Jim Henson’s Fantastic World.
I think you would love it.
If the day ever comes that we can be together again,
I will not allow you to feel unloved.
A bold claim, but, beloved,
if we don’t work,
don’t have a second chance (as some claim real love always has),
honestly,
I will have already been destroyed.
I was shown a bracelet, a necklace, and earrings at a little shop in a little village in San Antonio.
I think you are beautiful, even without them.
But (and I know you understand what I’m saying here)
I think I would like to give them to you.
But I will wait.
We still have to get to that first date.
And I will work to make it so that,
if things don’t work out between you two,
I will be better for you too.
I understand if we can’t,
but I will continue to hope.
I can do no other.
